Category Archives: Astrology

In prior posts, I’ve investigated several different ways of astrologically identifying your past and future karma using invaluable information gained by attending workshops/retreats lead by Judy Hall many years ago. We’ve looked at the Sun, Moon, nodal axis, and karmic relationships (through synastry). Now, it’s time to look at overall chart with regards to its composition re: elements and modalities.

Squaring the circle was a problem that greatly exercised medieval minds. It breaks down the original chaotic unity into the four elements and then combines them again in a higher unity.

– CARL JUNG

The circle is the sign of infinity; as with the universe itself, it has no beginning and no end. At birth, you step into this circle, aligning with the four directions of the material plane, which in turn correspond with the four angles of the chart  (AC, MC, DC, and IC). With this, the circle is squared and the map for your current incarnation has been drawn. All that remains is how it is read.

Elements

Each of the twelve zodiac signs belongs to one of four essential elements – fire, earth, air, and water – the elements that have been considered to be at the base of our Western word since the ancient Greeks. One of the first considerations in karmic astrology is whether there is an elemental imbalance in the chart. If you have no planets in one of the elements or more than four, you’re on to something as follows:

Modality

Likewise, we need to consider whether or not there is an modality imbalance in you chart.

Each of the four astrological elements (earth, air, water, and fire) presents itself in the zodiac in one of three modalities or ways of being – cardinal, fixed, and mutable.

The modalities work as follows: in cardinal mode, the energy first forms and presents itself – usually with a forthright bang.  In fixed, the energy holds steady.  It’s just what the package says – fixed – stable – unmoving as a brick wall.  In mutable the energy disintegrates and disperses – getting ready for cycle to repeat again and again.

For example, the element of fire in Aries is cardinal – bright and strong with intent, energy, and little or no control (have you ever known an Aries to stand still for long?).  In Leo (fixed fire) the energy is controlled and steady like the hearth fire, which warms us and cooks our food.  In Sagittarius (mutual fire) the energy is scattered as sparks from the fire, spiralling outwards and upwards until it melts away in the great beyond.

Karmically, we consider the modalities as follows:

Example

For example, I have no fire (planets in fire signs) in my chart. Yet at the same time, this missing element holds both my greatest potential as well as the seeds for my downfall. ]

Until I can become conscious of this and find a constructive outlet for the f things fire governs, it will function unconsciously through the collective most likely to my detriment.

Fire represents both trust in one’s intuition as well as faith in oneself. Those with too much fire often demonstrated an easy passion in life, until someone or something causes them to loose their connection with their destiny.

With no fire, I have had to work hard to develop my intuition yet its erratic expression has led to such unpredictability in the past, that I’d learned not to trust it. What’s worse, with all the air in my chart, it was too easy for me to rationalise away my intuition, even when it was right on point.

One instance springs dramatically to mind: years ago I was walking home from the metro late one night after work and heard someone running up behind me. Turning, I saw a young man in jogging clothes and so ‘decided’ (rationally) that he posed no threat to me – after all wasn’t he as entitled to use the sidewalk as I was? Of course he was, end of story. It may come as no surprise to you, but it did to me, that as he jogged away ahead of me, he was holding my purse. Although I’d had my purse carefully strung over my shoulder (a no-no – but then, hey), he’d so carefully used a knife to cut the purse strings that I’d not even felt it. I was so angry with both him and myself that I actually chased after him. Later the police told me I was lucky he’d disappeared into the bushes because quite honestly, if I’d been successful in confronting him, he probably would have used that knife on me.

This is also a lesson in modalities: I have four planets in Libra – and that qualifies as an overload of cardinal energy. Knee-jerk reaction instead of carefully consider action that very well might have gotten me killed.

(to be continued)

In prior posts, I’ve investigated several different ways of astrologically identifying your past and future karma using invaluable information gained by attending workshops/retreats lead by Judy Hall many years ago.

We’ve looked at the Sun, Moon, nodal axis, and karmic relationships (through synastry). Now, it’s time to look at the placement of Chiron in our charts, for this more than anything points directly at what Judy Hall calls ‘the wound of the soul’.

Chiron / the wound of the soul

Chiron is oft considered a minor astrological player, hiding away in the constellation of Sagittarius located between Saturn, his mythical father, and Uranus, his mythical grandfather. 

Product of one an illicit union between Saturn and Philyra, daughter of Oceanus, the primeval deep, Chiron was half-mortal and half-immortal. He was raised by the god, Apollo, and as the result possessed amazing healing skills. But when accidently wounded in his leg, his mortal half, with the poison of the Hydra, he was unable to heal himself. Although the wound refused to heal, being half-immortal, Chiron could not die. 

In karmic work, Chiron shows not only where the incarnating soul has been wounded but also suggests what must be done to find release from that pain. Like Chiron, who eventually found release in voluntarily taking up the burden of Prometheus, who having stolen fire from the god had been condemned to endlessly have his liver pecked out. The key here is voluntarily. To find release from his ‘wound of the soul’, the incarnated souls must freely release its hold on the world it has always and through ‘death’ (of sorts), hope that something greater may emerge. 

In this sense, Chiron is a shaman that helps us move between levels of consciousness in order to embrace our pain before letting it go. Both house and sign placement give important clues to how this process is meant to play out:

Times of healing

Chiron transits (i.e. current position of Chiron making a key aspect to your natal Chiron), are often immensely healing turning points. But because of the eccentric orbit of Chiron, these periods often prove hard to predict.

Your first Chiron square, which separates you from that which gives comfort from your pain, can occur anytime between 5 ½ years – 23 ½ years of age. Clearly there is a huge disparity here as to how emotionally capable you will be with dealing with this.

Next, comes your Chiron opposition, which intensifies your wound.

Finally, sometime usually sometime between age 49-51 years of age, you will have your Chiron return, which if you get it right and have been successful into integrating all the phases you’ve experienced to this point, can be an enormously healing time. So much depends on how you’ve dealt with your earlier Uranus opposition Uranus transit. However if, like too many, you fail to get this right, serious health issues are the usual result: men often have heart attacks and women, throat problems.

Example

My own Chiron is in Capricorn straddles my 6th and 7th houses.

This suggests that the wound in my soul not only has something to do with worldly affairs and becoming my own authority, but also regarding relationships gone wrong as well as the damage done by constant self-criticism. Healing should come through using my healing powers in service to others in such a way as to establish my person sense of authority, which in turn should also benefit my personal relationships with close others.

As my own Chiron return was due in the early spring of 2003, a visualization done during my summer 2002 retreat in Glastonbury should have proven useful: during that visualization, I saw the planes of war over the skies of England. My home and family were gone – now what? Churchill and important other world leaders of the time were the ‘new authority’ of the ‘new world order’ and I knew that I must join them; together we’d win the respect of the people lead them forwards to release themselves from the damage of war into a new and better future. 

Although all the pieces of the puzzle as suggested by my natal chart were in that visualisation, I do not know if it accurately reflects a prior life. Neither or since have I had any suggestion that was a reality. But I do know that because my North node is in Capricorn (in the 7^th house), that becoming an authority such as this is a goal for me in this lifetime. Although at the time of that visualization I didn’t know that a few months later I’d be made redundant after many years of working for Ernst & Young as an international tax lawyer, I’d have a new job in the same field with a smaller firm, where I’d have the opportunity to establish myself as that authority.

In hindsight, I cannot say that was all a huge success because it wasn’t. It’s true that I gained some ground in becoming an authority in my field of expertise, in this regard whilst at the same time developing some significant thyroid (i.e. throat) problems. 

The lesson, I suppose, is never to underestimate the karmic challenges with which we find ourselves presented. As the result, we ought not to become too critical of ourselves when we fail to meet them full on in complete triumph. Another lesson is that there are so many threads of our karmic past to follow up during any lifetime, that sometimes they get hopelessly tangled. For example, it was pointed out to me by a fellow student during that retreat that with Uranus in Cancer in my 1^st natal house close to my ascendant, that I’ve come into this life with an expectation of my home/family (Cancer) would come to an end by something like a war (Uranus) and who knows, but that this expectation coloured my visualisation as much as did past life karma. 

(to be continued)

In prior posts, I’ve investigated several different ways of astrologically identifying your past and future karma using invaluable information gained by attending workshops/retreats led by Judy Hall many years ago.

Sometimes these indicators fit together nicely and, for the most part, point in the same direction. Sometimes, however, they do not.

Karma with personal relationships

It’s been my personal experience that souls incarnate at a particular place and time to deal with multiple of issues usually to deal with unfinished business with particular persons.

It’s also been my personal experience that although sometimes you have no idea that someone is pushing one of your ‘karmic buttons’, in other cases you know that someone is ‘special’ for you in some way from the moment that you meet.

Finally, it’s been my experience that the nature of that unfinished business always shows up in the synastry (comparison grid) between two individual’s natal charts. This identifies the essential energies in play between the pair as well as showcasing what has brought them together in the first place.^[1]

When looking a synastry aspects, the closer the contact (within 0-5 degrees of orb) the more you’ll feel it. The conjunction is the most powerful of all the karmic contacts and if it’s close (within 1-2 degrees) it’s guaranteed whether or not admitted, you will BOTH feel it.

Also when looking for signs of karmic connections, the contacts of most interest are between (1) the personal planets of one person (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter, and Saturn) and (2) the karmic planets of the other (Pluto, Neptune, Uranus, Saturn, and Chiron).

Soul Mates

Perhaps the most problematic of all the karmic connections is that commonly known as the soul mate. These are carefully programmed old patterns of emotions and behaviours that run very, very deep. The aim of the soul mate game is to step off the karmic treadmill (habits) and find a new way to handle the relationship.

Unfortunately, more often than not, this proves impossible and it all ends in tears. This is not only because it really does take ‘two to tango’, but also because when it comes to ‘soul mates’, Neptune, planet of illusion, delusion, and downright deception is always involved. Often this points to prior patterns of collusion – i.e., you each played into the other’s distorted understanding of reality.

Example

When I moved to the Netherlands back in 1994, I met a glamorous red-haired Dutch woman who stole my heart and more. I started having spontaneous past life regressions (walking through Dam Square and finding myself dressed in clothing from the 1920’s) and other mystical experiences (I knew what she was thinking without it being spoken aloud and vice versa).  Back then, I didn’t know anything about astrology, but I was prompted to explore it – I needed answers to what was happening to me – after all I was a logical international tax lawyer (and she was too) – what could this ‘fairyland’ dream adventure be about?

Her Neptune fell smack on my Sun in synastry.^[2 I painfully experienced the pursuit of glamour that comes with connecting up with a soul mate. She didn’t look very happy either. In our present incarnation, we were face-to-face with each other every day (she was my boss) yet we never dealt with our ‘reality’ in a realistic way.

From the start, I knew in my heart, she was ‘mine’ but that I’d ‘lose her. It had happened before to ‘us’. In a meditation during my retreat in Glastonbury, I was walking up steps to a big house in the icy, dark, cold of mid-winter and my glamorous red-haired Dutch woman (in that prior life, my husband), was following me, his/her head bowed. We were in mourning. Twice, I went back down the steps and tried to take his/her hand but he/she refused. Knowing what I did about about that which we’d be faced in the ‘future’, I thought that if only we could be closer in the past, that things would be different. They were not.

In our separate natal charts, our nodes were reversed (which will always be the case with those born 9 years apart). Karmically, the reversed nodes suggests that we are meant to learn from each other in this incarnation but are heading in opposite directions: she is meant to accomplish that which I’ve already accomplished and vice versa. In a North Node meditation directed by Judy Hall, the glamorous red-haired Dutch woman and I (both dressed in fabulously beautiful furs) were stuck alone in a face-off on a ‘ice island’.

The last time I saw that glamorous red-haired Dutch woman in real life was back in the summer of 2002 in Amsterdam at her retirement party. I’ve never seen or heard from her again except that, every once and awhile, she erupts unbidden, illusive as ever, in my dreams.

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^[1] Whilst synastry examines the impact one person has the other, a second technique – a composite chart – uses the individual natal charts to create a whole new third chart. This represents the relationship as a whole and provides insight into the dynamics upon which it, as a relationship, functions. By comparing the two techniques, we often find repeating themes, which of are of special interest because they will have a significant, longer-term impact on the relationship. For purposes of this blog post, I’ll only consider the synastry but the combinations of the two planets in a composite chart will, symbolically, tell the same story.

^[2 In our composite chart, Uranus/Venus (freedom in the relationship/breaking the ‘old’ contract/bond), Mars/Pluto (this could be the power struggle with the sibling – that showed up with Mars in own 3^rd house), and Moon/Saturn (mother/child ‘duty’ and ‘debts’ that now need to be repaid) were closely highlighted.

In prior posts, I’ve investigated several different ways of astrologically identifying your past and future karma using invaluable information gained by attending workshops/retreats lead by Judy Hall many years ago. 

As you might expect, the placement of both your Sun and Moon are key to your karmic journey, as are the nodes (covered in a prior post ) which map the interaction between the Sun and the Moon as they cross each other’s orbital path (or apparent path) around the Earth. As also noted in an earlier post, the Moon acts almost like the South Node in that it symbolises deeply engrained and almost always unconscious patterns of thoughts and behaviours. 

The Sun – Who are you?

By contrast, the placement of your natal Sun (by sign and house) suggests not only what you are meant to develop during this incarnation but also answers the all-important question of ‘who am I’.^[1]

Personally, I believe that the messages of both the Sun and Moon are easier to grasp than those of our nodal placement because more often than not, the Sun and Moon plays out in our incarnational families – i.e. our mother and father or other important mother/father figures in our lives.^[2]

Example

On that week-long retreat in Glastonbury in the summer of 2002, we did karmic readings for each other and one morning I was paired with a woman named Rosie, who was much more experienced with this than me. So you can imagine how proud I was when she told me afterwards that I’d given her a healing in a way that she’d not anticipated.

Equally, she gave me an unanticipated healing in helping me to understand how much my father (represented by my Libra Sun in my 4th house) had really helped me in this life, giving me everything that he’d have given to a son, and, perhaps, much more.

It was also helpful to learn that I’d had previous lives where I was the ‘bringer of order and wisdom’ – past lives during the ‘dark ages’ when concepts, such as ‘justice’, were just starting to emerge. All good Libra stuff – apparently coming to me from a much longer tradition (4th house – family karma) than I’d imagined.

All those years ago, I was quite pleased with this revelation because I wasn’t yet familiar with the concept of the Gateways of the Soul, or the Seven Seals of Planets. What I’d failed to appreciate then was that multiple lifetimes as a lawyer probably actually wasn’t a good thing. It’s common for those (like me) who are so pleased with their mastery of the law, to get stuck in the Jupiter chakra rather than levelling up to our Mars chakra. ARGGH!

There’s always something new to learn!

(to be continued)

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^[1] The idea is that before birth, we are each given a daemon that selects the pattern we are meant to live on earth. Our daemon, or soul, accompanies us into life as the carrier of our true destiny. As the mediating consciousness between body and spirit, soul picks up an emotional charge from our parents at birth such that their hopes, fears, and fantasies become our own. 

This is not us, however. It is through desire, attachment, crisis, and struggle that soul transmutes the ‘false self’ and reconnects with our ‘true self – i.e., who am I – so that soul can return ‘home’. 

You know that you have lost connection with your soul and ‘true self’ when you feel alienated and lose purpose in life. Reconnection with soul requires more than intellectual understand and gaining control of your emotions. It is through imagination and fantasy (symbolized by Neptune in your chart) that you open your awareness to the sacredness and significance of soul. We nourish soul when our psychological lives reflect the heavens – i.e., our birth charts. For more information see the Soul’s Code by James Hillman (Random House, NY, 1996).

^[2] If your Sun and Moon are in harmonious elements and aspects, then your journey during this incarnation will be easier than if they are not. For example, my Moon is in Gemini and my Sun is in Libra – both air – and so harmonious and so able to find common ground. Not surprisingly, my father was a Sun Gemini and my mother, Sun Libra. I could see first hand how these energies played out with my parents.

However someone with Sun in Taurus and Moon in Scorpio will struggle because these signs are in opposition to each other – difficult to find the balance of common ground – think of a see-saw that infrequently is balanced. The rest of the time one is either up or down.

Someone with Sun in Taurus and Moon in Leo will have an even more difficult time – as these signs are in square aspect – think of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Nonetheless, with the Sun and Moon  in both square and the opposition with each other, at least there is a connection between the energies with which you can work. But if your Sun is in Taurus and you Moon in Sagittarius or Aries, there is a total disconnect – not only do they form no aspect together, but they share no common ground.

In prior posts, I’ve investigated several different ways of astrologically identifying your past and future karma using invaluable information gained by attending workshops/retreats lead by Judy Hall many years ago. 

According to Judy, the karmic purpose of your present incarnation is often most easily seen in the zodiac sign and house placement of your lunar nodes with the South Node representing what you’ve accomplished in past lives (both good and bad) and the North Node representing what you are meant to accomplish in your present incarnation.

When working with the nodes, it’s important to keep in mind that they are not planets and thus do not represent actives source of energy as do planets. Instead, the nodes (always considered in pairs) map out the cosmic, cyclical waltz of the Sun and the Moon – plotting the predictable point at which the moon will cross and crisscross the ecliptic (or the apparent path of the sun through the sky). 

Reading the Map

As with reading any map, the first challenge is to identify where you are now and where you want, or are meant, to go as follows:

Energies represented in your chart by planets forming a conjunction with the South Node need to be reworked and released so that they can be used more constructively during your current incarnation. So if, for instance, if your Mars in conjunct your South Node, you might find yourself easily angered when things fail to go your way. Worse, you might unconsciously disown your anger and ‘project’ it out on others and in doing so discover that others are always angry with you rather than the other way around. Once you can accept that anger as you own, you can reclaim in and rework it to make changes more aligned with your more your spiritual Will. This may require outside help.

Energies represented in your chart by planets in square aspect with the nodal axis also have the tendency to pull you back into repeating patterns from prior lives. Such planets are considered to be ‘at the bending’ and as such become a point of release for internal experience to become outwardly expressed. If you fail to adequately deal with the planets at the ‘bending’ by learning to more appropriate integrate them into your current life, you might literally be torn apart from them. Even with taking a new approach, the energies represented by planets at the ‘bending’ will likely always be a source of tension – the trick is to use this tension proactively to your benefit rather than your detriment. 

Example

With my North Node in Capricorn, my current life task is to build a separate life, business, and/or career that is mine, and mine alone. I am meant to toughen up – become an elder – a ‘wise’ one – develop a savvy attitude vis a vis the outside world. I must move out of my comfort zone (South Node) and go for the adventure North Node). ^[1]

This nodal map of developing a successful career (that will allow me to pay my own way) is overlaid (by square) on my 4^th house mystical/pragmatist karmic dilemma represented by my Mercury/Neptune/Saturn conjunction in Libra – i.e. pursue my religious/mystical inclinations or fill up my bank account. This karmic dilemma is ‘at the bending‘ so will become a point of outer release of inner tensions. I can assure you that for at least 25 years, I have been wavering on dumping my career/life as international tax lawyer for a large international accounting firm and doing the spiritual thing – at one point I was going to pack it all in and become a Jungian analysis (Jung was heavily into astrology and spiritual pursuit as well as a successful ‘heavy’ in the field of psychology.

What I’d not really appreciated is that this karmic dilemma is not all mine – but is in fact inherited – if not from my actual psychical parental line (no one except my mother showed the least interest in spirituality) then perhaps from my ‘soul group’. 

I’ll be honest. At this point, I still don’t fully understand what that means or what I’m meant to be doing about it – but I am now retired from law and pursuing such avenues for my own pleasure. At one point I tried to do this to start a new business (astrological coaching) but somehow that never seemed to get off the ground. Finally, I accepted it wasn’t meant to do and so I’ve pretty much put it off to one side.

During a higher self-meditation in Glastonbury in 2002, I received the message that it was my job to allow beauty and proportion to pervade my life and to enjoy it without guilt from others. I had the gift of a natural healing energy (Cancer rising). But it would be hard for me to heal others if I were perpetually unbalanced myself  (i.e. a Libra thing). Nonetheless teaching and communication (writing) was still good for me and I should purse that because still, I had so much to share with others. It is in this spirit that I write blog posts and novels and I hope – no, I trust – this is now what I’m meant to do to allow my mystical/pragmatist karmic dilemma an outlet that works to my benefit .

What next to consider?  

Well, if it’s one thing about the nodal axis and the challenges it represents, there’s always someone waiting in the wings to activate them. When one meets people that seem to do that (and I have met several), comparing their charts with my own (synastry) is instructive as well as looking at my natal Sun in Libra in that very karmic 4^th house. 

(to be continued)

^[1] Note that for these purposes, I am using the mean node, or the average motion of nodes. The nodes actually move forwards and backwards (retrograde) so fast that the true node might be going either way at any moment in time but the average motions of the nodes over time is always retrograde. As the difference between the true and average nodes is never more than 3 degrees, the difference between them rarely is important. However in some cases, such as mine, the true nodal axis is in a different zodiac sign (in my case, the South Node in Gemini and the North in Sagittarius) than the mean nodes and so for karmic purposes, both should be considered. I am not doing that in this post however I have considered this difference in great detail in my own diaries. 

In yesterday’s post, I discussed the karmic importance of one’s natal Moon not only by sign but also by house placement. 

Whilst the 4^th, 8^th, and 12^th houses (the water houses) are considered to be the most karmic, planets in any of the 12 zodiacal houses offer important clues as to current karmic challenges. But if there are no planets in the house in question, do not despair. Instead look to the ruler of the sign on the cusp of that house – (using Placidus house system):

Example

My Jupiter in Gemini is in my 12^th house. Often this placement suggests a close connection with ancient Egypt and as well as with other temple priests and priestesses in ancient times. Because my Jupiter is in comfortable connection (sextiles and trines) with the other karmic heavy-hitter planets (Pluto, Saturn, and Neptune), it’s likely these past lives I have accumulated significant wisdom and skills through temple work in order to help alleviate the karmic suffering of mankind as a whole. 

During that retreat at Glastonbury Abbey back in the summer of 2002, one of my fellow classmates channelled a past life for me. In that life, I was a wise-woman (witch) dressed in black against the rugged terrain of what looked to be Scotland. Although I was a healer, I lived away from the community, perhaps on an island with a tenuous connexion to the mainland. This isolation was for my own safety although there was no obvious danger presented during the exercise. 

In that life, people sought me out for my knowledge of herbs and plants and also for my ability to look to the sky for divination. I seemed happy, or at least satisfied, with my isolation. I definitely resonated with feeling proud to have been sought out for my learning and experience and to be considered an authority receiving appropriate recognition my accomplishments.

Not surprising this had long been an issue in my 30-year career as an international tax lawyer. Everyone seemed to have wanted me to be other than I was, a competent – lateral thinking – techie. Interestingly, it was at this particular time in my legal career, that I had just started to be recognised and appreciated for my expertise and learning. 

So how might all this contribute to my overall challenges regarding communication karma and in particular myMercury/Neptune/Saturn conjunction in my 4^th house – (i.e. mystical/pragmatist dilemma)?

Next up, will be an investigation of arguably the most important karmic indicator in anyone’s chart – the nodal axis (which is square or ‘at the bends‘) with my Mercury/Neptune/Saturn conjunction.

In yesterday’s post, I highlighted some of the different types, or categories, of karma coming to the conclusion that the one most active in my present incarnation has to do with communication – i.e. either being too vocal or not vocal enough in prior lives combined with the likelihood of difficulties with being properly understood. 

Karmic Houses

Although each of the 12 houses in the natal chart offer clues about one’s current karmic challenges, the most likely culprits are the 4^th, 8^th, and 12^th houses (the water houses). It is thus no surprise that, as concluded yesterday, my Saturn/Neptune/Mercury conjunction in Libra in my 4^th house, summed up as the mystical/pragmatist dilemma, plays a huge part in my life. More on that later. In the meantime, with communication karma highlighted, it’s useful to first turn to my 3^rd house, which rules not only communication/learning but also siblings. 

In my 3^rd house, I have a close Venus/Mar conjunction in Virgo (a Mercury ruled zodiac sign). This brings up two tracks or avenues of investigation, the first of which suggests that having Mars in the 3^rd house, in past lives I may have had intense rivalry with a sibling. Given that in my present life I’m an only child, and nothing of this nature has come up in past life regressions or similar work, let’s move on to the fact that my Mars is is conjunct Venus: this is ‘love hurts’ – well that make sense. Both Mars/Venus make a difficult square aspect to my Moon in Gemini, which because that is found in my 12^th house, suggests this may be the root of my 3^rd house karma.

The Moon 

In karmic astrology, the Moon represents deeply engrained unconscious behaviour and emotional patterns from the past, patterns that are buried so keep that often they feel so familiar, so safe and comfortable, they are on constant auto pilot. The Moon also symbolises what we expect to happen on an emotional level whenever presented with mothering/nurturing issues.

With the Moon in Gemini, I’ve learned to discuss and intellectualise my feelings rather than to allow myself to feel them. In such circumstances, it is difficult for me to achieve honest intimacy even with close others. It’s all too easy for me to rationalize away any feelings that do slip through the net. This leaves me both open to emotional manipulation by others as well as being the perpetrator of emotional manipulation on others. My expects are that others – especially mother and similar mother-figures will try to emotionally manipulate me and so I protect extra hard against that. Believe me when I say that when I was undergoing psychological counselling (a requirement for a course I was taking), that me and my therapist spent 3 years talking about my mother and from I gathered, we’d  not even touched the tip of the iceberg. 

My Moon in Gemini is in my 12^th house, the most karmic of all the houses. This suggests that lack of emotional intimacy is something coming long down my maternal line: this is borne out by my own mother’s Moon in Aquarius (even more emotionally detached than Gemini) and her mother’s Moon in Virgo (tendency to prudishness and being critical).

This suggests that my karmic communication issues likely from feeling as if I will – and never can be – be heard regarding my own wishes and desires and worse, finding a way to rationalise that away even when I know at some level, it’s neither helpful nor appropriate and quite honestly, of my own (unconscious making).

Example

Whilst on that retreat at Glastonbury Abbey back in 2002 with Judy Hall and my fellow would-be karmic astrologer, we did a number of exercises and visualisations and not surprisingly, my mother (who was still alive at the time) showed in several:

• Askatic Records Meditation  – when I asked the librarian for the volumes dealing with my life and lives, I was given three rather uninteresting volumes. When I asked if there were more, I was told there was a volume 4 and that was ‘out’ and not available. I argued that no one else had the right to access my volume to accept me but the librarian was adamant and snotty. I argued with her some more and got tossed out the library. To get back, I was  forced to apologise and bow down to the librarian. Finally, in fit of nasty mischievousness, that librarian showed me that she really was my mother and that she still had volume of my life under the front desk and that she wasn’t going to give it to me. I was forced to leave the library yet again, empty-handed and angry. 
• Vow Releasing and tie-cutting ceremony –  during this ritual, my mother shot arrows at me and was nasty. We were separated by a stream (the Atlantic Ocean, no doubt, as already I was living in the UK and my mother was in the US) over which there was a bridge. The bridge was cracking in the middle. I tried to hold it together with glue. The bridge did not want to cooperate. Was I trying to hold it together out of a sense of guilt or some real desire to do so? Relations between my mother and I had already started to break down in real time. After the ties were cut, in final part  of that ceremony, I became the woman in the tarot card the Nine of Coins. I’d always loved this card. She is standing in a lush with a falcon on her arm, raw instinct ready for use but well-under control. This woman was self-assured and comfortable in her ability to take care of herself. This was image of wholeness that I brought back with me from the ceremony.
• Karmic astrologer meditation – in this meditation my guide told me that although it seems like my mother had hijacked my life, in reality it was only my moon in Gemini in my 12th house. My Jupiter, also in my 12th house was still mine and she could never get that. The upshot is that when I do my Jupiter in Gemini in my 12^th house (to be explored later), I was doing my own thing and was my own person, far away from the clutches of my mother.

So where does all this leave me with my the challenges of my communication karma? For starters, having part of my voice -my own story – hijacked by my mother is part of it. But of course, there’s more to come. Next, I’ll explore my 12th house Jupiter in Gemini, tying neatly as it does ( by trine) to my Mercury/Neptune/Saturn conjunction (i.e. mystical/pragmatist dilemma) in my deeply karmic 4th house. Other karmic factors are also implicated.

(to be continued)

For reasons known to a small group of dedicated healers here in the UK who are helping me to deal with some complicated karmic issues that are now surfacing, I am revisiting some of the brilliant lectures/retreats I’ve attended over the years with Judy Hall starting back in August 2000. 

This series of blog posts is dedicated to all of them and intended to help healers and clients alike more quickly get to the crux of their own karmic issues.^[1]

What are we meant to achieve?

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Souls incarnate at a particular place and time to deal with any number of issues, most notably leftover emotions from prior lives such as fear, desire, joy, and grief especially in relation to one or two particular persons.

In this regard, reincarnating souls usually fall into one of two distinctly different groups:

1. Destiny – those who desire to remain bound to their ‘past patterns’ of dealing with their karmic issues, or
2. Free Will – those who desire to learn a new response to their karmic challenges rather than simply repeating what they’ve done over and over again perhaps across multiple reincarnations.

In order to get some sense of which group into which an incarnating soul falls, it’s important to look astrologically at the zodiacal sign, placement, and contacts (especially by outer planets) made by their Mercury, which gives important clues as to the thought patterns and expectations at work in this incarnation. It also gives clues as to any karmic communication issues you may have brought into this incarnation with you. For example close Mercury/ Pluto suggest expectations of abuse of power – either as the perpetrator or the victim – whilst close Mercury/Saturn aspects suggest expectations of communication problems – often due to lack of education or social status. By contrast, close Mercury/Neptune aspects suggest expectations of being overwhelmed by the thoughts/emotional needs of others.

Finally, it’s helpful to think of karma as falling broadly into certain categories, or types of karma. The following are some examples as well as some of their chief astrological significators.

Example

For example, my own chart is very Mercurical in nature – (Moon/Jupiter in Mercury ruled Gemini in the 12^thhouse) and Mars/Venus in Mercury ruled Virgo). This suggests the placement and aspects made to my Mercury are important to my present incarnation.

My Mercury (in Libra) is caught up in a tight conjunction with Saturn and Neptune. This suggests that at least part of my karmic journey during this life is communication. That Saturn/Neptune conjunction is symbolic of the karmic dilemma known as the mystical/pragmatist -where I am torn between ‘floating on my cloud and meditating’ and ensuring that my bank account is nicely topped up. I assure you that many have accused me of just this especially when, back in 2006, I left a job in London where I had a six-figure income to attain an MA in the Study of Mystical and Religious Studies at the University of Kent in Canterbury (btw, it was totally worth it!!!).

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Whilst on a retreat at Glastonbury Abbey (behind the Abbey ruins is a very comfortable retreat house owned by the Church of England) back in 2002 with Judy Hall and a select group of other would-be karmic astrologers, I experienced the following ‘message’ during a visualization exercise.

“Story-telling is my specialty. My Mercury/Neptune/Saturn easily makes stories that humanity has always wanted (and will always want). My Pluto in the 2^nd house has experience all the phases of human evolution and as the result, can offer a broad viewpoint to others to help them put things into perspective. My Moon in Gemini also has a fairy-like connection with fantasy and my inner child. I can bring that to through my stories as well as a found of knowledge to myself. In Egypt, I have undergone the ‘sacred ‘marriage’ and have touched the Falcon God Horus. Because of this, I can bridge the light of day with the fantasies of night and help otherwise (as well as myself) to escape the dark dungeons where they/we may others stay imprisoned. 

So how will I proceed to deal with my communication karma and related issues, especially as relates to the mystical/pragmatist dilemma which is so clearly highlighted in my very karmic 4th house?

(to be continued)

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^[1] For these purposes, karma is defined as a promise to pay for what you now get. It’s important to remember that karma is not just about dealing with the past but that you are making karma for the future in the here and now. It’s also important to remember that the little things that we do each and every day do add up and often create more of an impact on our karma than the ‘big’ decisions/actions we take.