Astro-dynamics of My Knight in Shining Armour

In yet another characterisation exercise for my new memoir, I’m digging into the astro-personality of my husband, JWM.  He plays the knight in shining armour who rescues me from the Wicked Witch of A ‘dam.  

Although he won’t admit it, JWM’s father is a huge influence in his life.  This makes the nature of the bond between them even more important because it operates unconsciously.

The key astrological configurations in  father/son relationships are (1) Saturn (discipline and control), (2) the Sun (validation of Self) and (3) Mars (survival instinct).  The concepts here are clash, struggle, opposition, fear, defeat, and betrayal.

In myth, Saturn and Mars are mortal enemies.  Yet they absolutely need each other.  It’s interesting that Saturn functions not only as the father figure in a young man’s life but also as the unavoidable aging process that eventually brings the young buck to his knees.

But back to the Wicked Witch of A ‘dam.  JWM was a young man then.   He had not yet undergone his Saturn return during which he would gain his sense of perspective.

JWM’s Saturn (structure/perfection) in Aries (sense of omnipotence) sits on his father’s Sun/Uranus  (break w/ tradition) in Aries; JWM never stops judging his father.  His father doesn’t know how to react.  Their interactions take on a decidedly defensive tone.   The young ram must butt against something if he’s to make any progress at all.

A young man’s sense of direction must come from his notion  of the ‘father figure’.  Because his Sun is in Aquarius, JWM needs his father to be a visionary who accomplishes nothing less than transforming the free world.  Whether his father achieved this isn’t the point.  The point is that with JWM’s Sun square Mars/Neptune conjunction (dissociation from action), he needs to see his father that way.

So not surprisingly, when I first met JWM in A ‘dam he was an unfocused drifter.    His father had failed to unleash JWM’s Mars energy  (there’s no synastry there).   But I did.*

According to Liz Greene, the energy of Neptune/Mars often manifests through romantic heroism.   That’s just what it did.  Enter my knight in shining armour whose Neptune/Mars in Scorpio formed a perfect trine with the Mars (Cancer) of Alieke, the Wicked Witch of A ‘dam.

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* My Uranus (liberation) in Cancer (nurturing) trines JWM’s Neptune/Mars in Scorpio (passion).

If you Play with Fire – You’ll Almost Certainly Get Burned

bouncy TiggerBouncing is fiery and fire is what Tigger does best.  It makes him larger than life.  It makes him the most loveable character in the hundred-acre wood.

Yet being larger than life doesn’t always make one happy – despite his or her cheery smile.

“Fiona” is a young Irish woman with a Grand Fire Trine.  She has her Sun and Mercury in Sagittarius (gregarious, optimistic, and naïve).  Her Saturn (organisation) is in fall in Aries (reckless and impatient).  Her Moon (nurturing and belonging) in Leo (proud and confident yet easily duped).

With that fiery line up there’s little surprise her life is a continuing drama.

Her father was the local vicar.  He kept his mistress as a housekeeper and worked undercover for British intelligence.  According to Fiona, her mother was a mouse who roared only on her way out of the marriage.

Fiona’s friends know her as a ‘good time girl’ who had an enviable sex life  – that is before she got married.  Seems that now the party is over.  Fiona’s husband (who apparently was fine before the marriage) is now impotent.

She can’t understand his problem.

Seeing her Mars (assertion and survival) in detriment in Libra (compliant and evasive) across the MC/AC (4th house/10th house or ‘parental’ axis) we suspect it’s her problem.

One day Tigger loses his famous stripes.  He is inconsolable until he learns that it’s what’s ‘inside’ not ‘outside’ that counts.

Likewise Fiona must look within for answers.

But how do you get a fire-type to do that?

Write a book about herself, you suggest?!  

The astrology of soul-mates/why it inevitably all goes wrong

In Plato’s Symposium, we learn that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs, and a single head with two faces.  But Zeus, most powerful of the Greek gods, feared the humans’ power and tore them asunder, condemning them to eternally search for the other half of themselves – their soul mate.

That’s as good as any explanation for the magical, mystical, and most importantly – fated – union you can feel in the presence of another.   For many, it’s the most beautiful, moving, and transformative experience for which one could ever hope.   I’ve had it.  Have you?

So why is it that – more likely than not – it all ends in tears?

Astrologically, the ‘soul mate’ phenomenon is inevitably bound up with Neptune – which moves in mysterious, illusive ways.  Neptune is counter logical and doesn’t play by the rules.  Neptune is of another world, luring us into pursuit of a glamorous dream that takes us to places we’d never otherwise willingly have gone.

We all need some glamour in our lives.  But when the dream is over you need to move on.

Does this mean you can never have a long-term relationship with your Neptunian ‘soul mate’?  Of course not.

What it does mean is that unless your soul mate relationship has more holding it together than Neptune contacts, when reality shatters your rose-coloured glasses, either you or your beloved will be sneaking out the backdoor with a grin.

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The following is a brief outline of the various ‘soul-mate’ synastry aspects between your chart and another’s  (the closer the aspect – the stronger the effect):

Neptune/Moon – the Moon person has an earthy stability that makes the Neptune person feel safe.  The Neptune person sees the Moon person as the only one able to provide much-needed non-judgemental love.  Neptune believes the Moon will always be there for her.  Initially the Moon responds positively to Neptune’s needs and does all she can to provide sympathetic care.  But as the bonds grow stronger, the Moon often becomes progressively more possessive; Neptune then feels overwhelmed and quietly slips away.

Neptune/Mercury – Neptune views Mercury as a clever companion and guide who can provide insightful answers to Neptune’s pressing questions.   Often the dialogue between these two is poetic and inspired.  Yet both planets (given the circumstances) can be shameless liars.   Neptune uses her mirroring powers to please at all costs.  For Mercury (governed by the god of tricksters and thieves) truth is always a relative business.   In the end quarrels and misunderstandings are inevitable – and it’s what each of you do then that matters.

Neptune/Venus – this contact has provided inspiration for poetry and fiction from the beginning of time – for it inevitably involves the pain of illicit (and often unfilled) desire.   While Neptune fantasizes about the physical consummation of a mystical love, Venus waits impatiently (and perhaps indefinitely) for Neptune to take action.  The problem is that Venus wants to be loved through (and for) her body – while what Neptune really loves is Venus’ soul.  This aspect reflects the intoxicating feeling of ‘being in love’.  Yet often it only produces a broken heart.

Neptune/Mars – the sheer strength of the sexual pull between these two ensures trouble.  Neptune sees Mars as her invincible champion– tough, potent, decisive, and ready for battle.   In turn, Mars feels fulfilled with a worthy cause for which to fight.  Yet if Neptune can’t acknowledge her dependency on Mars, she’ll undermine him so as to ensure he doesn’t go off crusading for someone else.  Often this results in the classic ‘not tonight but maybe tomorrow’ script where Mars is kept eternally waiting.  On-going frustration may draw cruelty and violence from Mars.  The less Neptune understands her own capacity for aggression, the darker their relationship becomes.

Neptune/Jupiter – involves a profound sense of shared religious or spiritual commitment.  Jupiter’s quest for meaning and optimistic vision of the world provides Neptune a solid hook for her own – often inarticulate – yearnings.    Yet because both Jupiter and Neptune share a taste for the boundless, this aspect can end up with the blind leading the blind.   Jupiter cajoles Neptune into some folly into which Neptune happily follows.  When it all goes wrong (as it usually does), disillusionment inevitably follows.

Neptune/Saturn – involves a meeting of archetypal opposites.  Saturn (the strong, worldly, paternal figure) overtly builds while Neptune (elusive, vulnerable, and distinctly of another world) subtly undermines.  When Saturn-Neptune aspects go wrong, they go very wrong.    They can generate an intensity of anger and need to inflict emotional pain that becomes unbearable for both parties.  However if handled with care (and maturity), this aspect has the greatest potential for healing.  Neptune can offer Saturn a tangible sense of hope and faith while Saturn can offer Neptune the stability through which she can become her most creative self.

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Give Peace a Chance/Working with Saturn/Venus Contacts

A successful romantic relationship needs cement to hold it together.

One type of long-lasting cement is a (synastry) contact between one partner’s Saturn and the other partner’s  Moon.  This was the topic of yesterday’s post.

Another is a (synastry) contact between one partner’s  Saturn and the other partner’s Venus.

However, Venus and the Moon do not behave the same.

While the Moon relates through emotional bonding, Venus relates through differentiation of self and other.  Opposites attract.  Although the Moon needs acceptance in relationships, Venus needs someone to validate her self-worth.

At best, Venusian based relationships promote pleasure and sensual gratification.  They bring beauty and colour to your life.  At worst, however, they promote jealousy, self-indulgence, and conflict.

A typical scenario might be as follows:

While Venus sparkles in the social limelight, Saturn sulks.  Although Saturn admires the charm and grace with which Venus expresses her personality, it annoys him.  Her very existence reminds him of his saturnine clumsiness and ineptitude.

He puts her down.

She flirts to compensate.

He gets jealous and controlling.

As she distances herself, his ego gets bruised.

She becomes even more vain.

As the initial affection they once felt for each other ebbs away, both partners become more and more unhappy.  Yet at the same time, they feel duty bound to stay together for financial, family, or religious reasons.

Of course it doesn’t have to be this way.

If you both are able to confront the truth, you could raise your relationship from one of frustration and dependency to that of mutual cooperation and friendship.

For example, Yoko Ono’s Venus squared John Lennon’s Saturn by a 0 degree orb.   It’s well documented that Yoko’s fun-loving approach to life made John’s life harder.  Yet they persevered and made something together, of which they could both be proud.  John and Yoko’s relationship was extremely controversial when it began more than forty five years ago.  It remains so to this day.

The key point to remember with a Saturn/Venus relationship is that no matter whatever else happens, it remains.  So if you’re going to be in this for the long-term then, why not at least give peace a chance?

Knowledge is power so armed with the birthdate of your partner and yourself, check out your synastry contacts for free atwww.astro.com.

An Intimate Dance by the Saturnine Light of the Moon

For a successful romantic relationship, you need cement to hold it together.

One long-lasting cement is a (synastry) contact between one partner’s Saturn and the other’s Moon.  But be forewarned, longer isn’t better unless you work to make it so.  So here’s the deal.

The astrological Moon relates through mutual benefit and dependence.

Therefore, lunar-based relationships can withstand aging and sickness –albeit at the expense of separation and growth.  At best, these relationships are protective, fostering sensitivity and unconditional love.  At worst, they are clingy, claustrophobic, and emotionally manipulative in their bid to avoid that which the Moon partner fears most – rejection.

Astrological Saturn gives us backbone and determination to succeed.   Yet Saturn also is our point of greatest vulnerability.  This is where we feel most ineffective, frustrated, and scared.  When Saturn functions well in our chart, setbacks and challenges make us stronger.  When it doesn’t, he gets resentful, critical, and withdrawn.

Relationships with Saturn/Moon contacts have a compulsive quality whereby the Moon partner is instinctively protective of the Saturn partner’s deepest wounds.  This may sound fantastic.   But all too often the Saturn partner responds with irritation and resentment.  Instinctively, he becomes defensive against his Moon partner, who knows his emotional  ‘buttons’ all too well.

Wounded (and emotionally needy herself), the Moon person pushes closer.

Feeling even more threatened, the Saturn partner further withdraws – while at the same time craving the emotional support the Moon person is offering.  Imagine the internal turmoil – yet the last thing to which Saturn can admit is being in pain.

And so the dance of intimacy continues with the Moon and Saturn partners operating at cross-purposes – each with the tenacity of a bulldog.  It’s rather like Jackie Gleason’s 1950’s classic comedy – the Honeymooners – where Ralph and Alice Kramden grow old together mercilessly picking on each other.

Yet it doesn’t have to be this way.

With insight and cooperation on the part of both of you, this synastry aspect can create a powerful and meaningful bond in which both feel valued and supported.  The first step is to realize what’s going on beneath the scenes.  Knowledge is power so armed with the birthdate of your partner and yourself, check out your synastry contacts for free at www.astro.com.

Capricorns always win/ but why?

For those with sun in Capricorn, know that Saturn is your sun’s ruler.

If you want to know why Capricorns have such a hard time in life, read on…the more you learn about Saturn, the more you’ll understand your plight.

For the Druids, the Oak tree symbolises the turning of the year – the trials and tribulations all of nature goes through to become all that it is meant to be. The Oak is sacred to the Druids because of its strength and endurance. Like the hare and the tortoise, Capricorn doesn’t win because of his speed.

Like the Oak, Saturn is a survivor. But survival doesn’t come easy and it’s usually not much fun.

Astrological Saturn grounds you and establishes boundaries that contain you (for good or ill). Saturn shows where you are weak and vulnerable so that that you can strengthen yourself. Saturn points out where you should be fearful – if you are to survive. Saturn tells you to pay attention and go more slowly, look deeper and learn from your mistakes. With Saturn it is de rigour that you take responsibility. With Saturn, the buck stops with you.

As my favourite astrologer Karen Thorne once told me, (eventually) Capricorns always win.  With Saturn’s stoic determination behind them, it’s not hard to understand why.